I saw this Tweet today by the charity Water 1st International:

Avoid coal in your stockings: $25 provides safe water to a child in India for her entire life. http://bit.ly/8selFs

It brought a smile to my face and I was curious enough to click the link.  Although I liked the Tweet I was a tad disappointed in the landing page.

I think the Tweet would be more effective by having the landing page continue the conversation.  A simple headline on the landing page would seal the connection and do a better job of drawing people in.  Something along the lines of:

Avoid Coal in Your Stocking
with a Charitable Gift of Water

Then perhaps follow the headline with a few sentences to explain the list of gift choices the prospective donor finds on the landing page.  For a bonus touch add this graphic adjacent to the headline: A chunk of coal overlain by a red circle with a line drawn through it.  (Oh, and maybe even a sprig of holly, too.)

When a landing page correctly “continues the conversation” conversions go UP.  In this case, @Water1st would raise more funds.

Again, I liked the Tweet but I think they missed the full opportunity by sending people to a generic landing page.  In this case it wouldn’t take much copy at all to customize the page.

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